NELSON J FOWLKES
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Nelson Fowlkes'
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Writings on rising above adversity

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Tips to Become Emotionally Supportive

10/19/2021

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People have this natural eagerness to help others who are going through challenging times, which is a beautiful thing. Support can come in different shapes and sizes. However, if one is not careful, they can make the situation way worse. You might say something that can offend or invalidate the feeling of the other. If you are looking for ways to become effective in supporting others emotionally, here are some means to do it:

Align Your Words with Your Actions 

Acts of love are essential since they verify and strengthen the verbal signals we provide to others. If we experience instances where words do not seem to align with that person's actions, it can feel damaging. It somehow erodes the trust we have for other people.  That is why, when you console someone, don't just say it because it makes them feel a lot better for a moment. You can't make them expect things that you know you can't do—it will do more harm to their mental health than good. Make it a habit to say what you are sure of. In other words, be conscious of the words that come out of your mouth.

Seek Knowledge on Mental Health

People who experience challenging moments in life are at risk of developing mental issues. Seeking knowledge and wisdom will help you say the right words. Reading books about mental health can help you with this. Nelson Fowlkes is an author that can give you in-depth enlightenment about mental health. His book, Overcoming Adversities: Resetting Goals, highlights dealing with setbacks, inspiring readers to stand still, despite life's challenges. Fowlkes' book on Spiritual Growth will surely give you a grasp of mental health, which you can use to console others. 

Listen and Respect

There are times when we are too eager to know everything; we unconsciously force the person to speak. But this is not consoling at all. This is feeding our own desire and curiosity. That is why listening and respecting what others have to say and what they cannot say is essential. You can ask questions, but make sure that they are appropriate questions. Asking them how they are feeling would be a good start. Listen and give them your undivided attention. You have to ensure that you make them feel that you are genuinely interested in their story and want to support them.

Make Them Feel Validated

No matter how big or small, when a person goes through difficulties, they feel emotions. And, it would be best to understand that these emotions deserve to be respected. Put yourself in their position. Would you feel differently? You probably would because everyone is exposed to different kinds of privileges. Thus, everyone feels different in every situation. But that does not mean that you should put down others' feelings. Every person in this world has every right to feel whatever emotions. 

Take Them Out for a Walk

The best way you can do to make a person feel better is to momentarily divert their attention. A good way would be a walk in nature parks, where the beauty of the world is evidently showing. Nature never fails to make everyone feel refreshed. When people are refreshed by nature, they tend to have full functionality when they go back to real-life settings. This small gesture can really make a difference in how a person feels. 

Check in with the Person on a Regular Basis

Your schedule may be hectic, but it won't hurt you if you send simple messages, asking them how they are doing. This small gesture can mean so much to a person. It lets them know that someone is thinking about them. You might save a great deal of pain by doing so. Be that genuine person they can turn to anytime. 

The feeling of helping build people up in times of uncertainty is rewarding. Being someone's support system will not benefit them but also yourself. By listening to others, you can establish learnings. When the time comes that you have to go through the same circumstance, you will know what to do. You will earn coping skills when you become a person who serves as a support system to others.

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