Nelson Fowlkes'
Blog
Writings on rising above adversity
 Adversities will always be a part of our lives if we want to learn and grow. Most of the time, we aspire to become great - to reach the absolute best version of ourselves, but are about to give up on the many problems we face. We often admire those who can bounce back easily, those who can get back up after getting knocked down, those who can say enough is enough and face their issues head-on, those who are resilient.
The common misconception with resilience is that people will not experience difficulty, stress, or suffer emotional pain. Resilience isn’t about becoming numb to pain, but it’s learning how to adapt in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, and threat. Learning to be resilient is a challenging feat, so here are a few things to look out for to build resilience: 1. Maintaining Health.As a given, physical health tackles eating right and sleeping on time. Most of us already know how it can be done - eating a balanced meal with go, grow, and glow foods, drinking eight glasses of water a day, sleeping 6 hours a day (at the very least). The issue is being able to do this continuously and sustainably. It is only when we are physically healthy that we can cope with the physical demands of our adversities. When we fall ill, we cannot do our tasks well, eventually affecting our results, preventing us from becoming resilient. However, health does not simply mean sleeping well and eating the right foods. Though it is a significant part of it, health also refers to the other aspects of a person’s life - mental, social, and spiritual aspects included. Most of us forgo these aspects when thinking about health since it is not something we can usually see or quantify, but it is still an essential aspect of being healthy. Our mental, social, and spiritual health is vital since these often help us learn to be empathetic with others and ourselves when we face our issues. Our relationships often remind us that we are not alone and that we don’t have to go through our struggles on our own. Finding trustworthy and empathetic friends who will validate your feelings helps build your resilience. When we want to build resilience, we must recognize which aspects of ourselves we need improvement on - which parts of our lives are unhealthy. It is only through recognizing these issues that we can find the root of the problem and address it effectively and efficiently so that the issue is less likely to happen again. To illustrate, if we recognize that we have issues with how we talk with others, recognize that sometimes our comments can be tactless and offend others, it is only then trying to learn how to be more polite. 2. Finding a Purpose.Knowing what you want and what you are doing it for gives you a sense of purpose - a fire that ignites your spirits when you are down. In one way or another, all of us have something worth fighting for (or melting for if you’re Olaf). Whether it is for a selfless cause, like being able to take care of your parents, raising your children, helping out a minority group, or something for yourself like getting a degree or position, or earning money, there is always something that grounds us and reminds us why we are doing something. Knowing what grounds us makes us more resilient since we have a reason to overcome the challenges we face. It reminds us that what we are doing, what we face, and sometimes what we put ourselves through is worth it. It reminds us that we are strong, we are brave, and that we can do it. 3. Have a Positive Outlook.A positive outlook is usually harder to achieve. It’s easy for most of us to be pessimistic or realist because somehow, we want to know what to expect, what is more likely to happen and prepare for the worst. While these are not necessarily bad things, it is still essential to recognize the opposite side - the flip side of the same coin. Keeping things in perspective and reasoning while still hoping for the best possible result is integral to resilience. Maintaining a hopeful outlook even if things aren’t exactly going our way is a skill you may want to learn when building resilience. Visualizing what we want over what we fear may happen allows you to deal better with difficult situations. 4. Know when Enough is EnoughToughing it up and knowing our limits are two ends of the same spectrum, and resilience is the perfect median. As Aristotle once said, “Virtue lies in the middle.” This means that learning when to give up rather than not to give up is more important. We have to realize that sometimes, the best thing to do is stop and let go. When what we want is too toxic, when it disrupts our physical health, when it hurts and discriminates against others, when our intentions become evil, we must recognize that we must learn to stop and let go of the things we want. Finding the middle is difficult because we often get compared to other people at the ends of the spectrum. We get compared to the person who just gives up quickly when times are hard, and we also get compared to the person who will not give up. However, we must remember that if the end goal of building resilience truly is growth, we must realize that giving up when it is too toxic is the right thing to do, especially if it leads to our downfall. 5. Listen and Learn.Advice from others is hard to deal with. Sometimes it just seems too good to be true, sometimes, it seems fake or exaggerated, sometimes it just sounds too much like pixie dust - a fairytale. Still, once in a while, we come across pieces of advice that turn out to be useful and applicable to our current situation. When you find this, keep it and apply it. Reading books about personal stories such as Nelson Fowlkes will often give us a different perspective that can help us address an issue. It never hurts to ask for help from others too. Reaching out to mentors or parents can help us shed new light on our issues and deal with them better. Moreover, we have to learn from our past mistakes. Looking back at previous decisions and realizing what we want and what was right is vital in helping us face similar situations in the future. If we remind ourselves what we used to find strength and correct our mistakes along that path, we are less likely to repeat the same mistake.  Each of us aspires for prosperity, and in doing so, we frequently overlook the obstacles that stand in our way. We make objectives and want to fulfill them immediately, but we are only humans and may fall short of them. When this happens, we tend to stop believing in ourselves. But we should know that real success never happens in the blink of an eye, it doesn't even happen overnight. Instead, true success is earned with suffering, prevailing over adversity, conquering barriers, and enduring in the face of several setbacks. Today's most successful people have demonstrated how perseverance and faith in themselves, which shows how it can lead to incredible achievement.
Overcoming Adversity: Resetting Goals is an inspiring guidebook and memoir written by Nelson J. Fowlkes. It is a self-help book dedicated to supporting readers in pursuing their life objectives and purpose. With this book, you will receive insight into how education revolutionized the author's life and given him the strength to face difficulties front-on or explore alternate paths. Take an inspiring stroll with this riveting book, and you will surely find ways to persevere. The phrase "never giving up" truly captures the essence of what perseverance really means. Even when things become difficult – which they nearly always do – perseverance motivates us to keep trying. Ultimately, it means persistence in accomplishing something in the face of hardship or delay in obtaining achievement. Here are some worthwhile reasons to inspire you to hold perseverance as you journey through life: It Reinforces Motivation Perseverance may be defined as your commitment to your goals. Furthermore, it increases the value of the objective for you and increases your motivation level. It leads you to great discoveries and broadens your understanding of yourself and your aspirations. One way you can reinforce motivation with perseverance is by writing down your goals and keeping track of them all the time. This is because a defined and clear vision enables you to be organized and aligns your short-term, medium-term, and long-term goals and actions. As a result, what you want to achieve should be crystal clear in your mind before you figure out how to go from here to there. It Makes Your Handle Setbacks Smoothly Knowing what approach to use every time adversity arrives in your life is a must. So when things go wrong, it won't affect you as much as it would. While we cannot control some of the terrible situations that occur in our lives, we can modify how we react to them. When we do not learn to effectively cope with our bad setbacks, we become trapped in a negative loop that causes us additional harm. We squander time dwelling on the past rather than moving ahead. We can deal with life's tremendous obstacles more efficiently if we learn to deal with setbacks in a good way. It Nourishes Your Relationship with Others Relationships, whether romantic, platonic, or family, are necessary for a fulfilling life. A person's mental and physical health benefits from having a solid network. Perseverance assists people in resolving problems, communicating more effectively, and determining which relationships are worth saving. Have a trustworthy confidante with whom you can discuss, open up, and express your feelings. Sometimes just talking things out might help; it can also promote thinking for solutions and idea bouncing. It Builds Self-Esteem It doesn't take long to commit to the temple of perseverance. It rapidly becomes clear how effective this perspective toward life is as a tool—completing one objective leads to the fulfillment of the next, strengthening our sense of self-worth and confidence, much like a self-fulfilling prophecy. It Frees Us from Distraction We've all been in that situation. Even when we have the best intentions to keep focused, we find ourselves browsing through social media while we should be working on a project. Perseverance enables you to zoom in even farther and concentrate on your immediate objectives. In simpler words, when you are persevered to achieve something, you will be more focused on what you are doing. Focus is critical because it serves as the entryway to all other types of thinking: perception, memory, learning, reasoning, problem-solving, and decision making.  People have this natural eagerness to help others who are going through challenging times, which is a beautiful thing. Support can come in different shapes and sizes. However, if one is not careful, they can make the situation way worse. You might say something that can offend or invalidate the feeling of the other. If you are looking for ways to become effective in supporting others emotionally, here are some means to do it:
Align Your Words with Your Actions Acts of love are essential since they verify and strengthen the verbal signals we provide to others. If we experience instances where words do not seem to align with that person's actions, it can feel damaging. It somehow erodes the trust we have for other people. That is why, when you console someone, don't just say it because it makes them feel a lot better for a moment. You can't make them expect things that you know you can't do—it will do more harm to their mental health than good. Make it a habit to say what you are sure of. In other words, be conscious of the words that come out of your mouth. Seek Knowledge on Mental Health People who experience challenging moments in life are at risk of developing mental issues. Seeking knowledge and wisdom will help you say the right words. Reading books about mental health can help you with this. Nelson Fowlkes is an author that can give you in-depth enlightenment about mental health. His book, Overcoming Adversities: Resetting Goals, highlights dealing with setbacks, inspiring readers to stand still, despite life's challenges. Fowlkes' book on Spiritual Growth will surely give you a grasp of mental health, which you can use to console others. Listen and Respect There are times when we are too eager to know everything; we unconsciously force the person to speak. But this is not consoling at all. This is feeding our own desire and curiosity. That is why listening and respecting what others have to say and what they cannot say is essential. You can ask questions, but make sure that they are appropriate questions. Asking them how they are feeling would be a good start. Listen and give them your undivided attention. You have to ensure that you make them feel that you are genuinely interested in their story and want to support them. Make Them Feel Validated No matter how big or small, when a person goes through difficulties, they feel emotions. And, it would be best to understand that these emotions deserve to be respected. Put yourself in their position. Would you feel differently? You probably would because everyone is exposed to different kinds of privileges. Thus, everyone feels different in every situation. But that does not mean that you should put down others' feelings. Every person in this world has every right to feel whatever emotions. Take Them Out for a Walk The best way you can do to make a person feel better is to momentarily divert their attention. A good way would be a walk in nature parks, where the beauty of the world is evidently showing. Nature never fails to make everyone feel refreshed. When people are refreshed by nature, they tend to have full functionality when they go back to real-life settings. This small gesture can really make a difference in how a person feels. Check in with the Person on a Regular Basis Your schedule may be hectic, but it won't hurt you if you send simple messages, asking them how they are doing. This small gesture can mean so much to a person. It lets them know that someone is thinking about them. You might save a great deal of pain by doing so. Be that genuine person they can turn to anytime. The feeling of helping build people up in times of uncertainty is rewarding. Being someone's support system will not benefit them but also yourself. By listening to others, you can establish learnings. When the time comes that you have to go through the same circumstance, you will know what to do. You will earn coping skills when you become a person who serves as a support system to others.  The Keys to Success in Life
Everyone wants success. Who wouldn't, right? Each person has a slightly different definition when it comes to success. Success is the desired goal: it can be defined as a destination, goal, or perceived glory which one finds meaningful and desirable. The thought of living a successful life ignites a fire within, encouraging anyone to continue the long, tedious race of life. The more challenging the goal is, the stronger the success feeling is related to it. Everyone wants to make something happen, be it for themselves, their families, or society as a whole. Everyone wants to be heard, and nothing speaks louder than success itself. Although you may have a clear definition of success, working your way towards it can be challenging. The internet has a plethora of keys to a successful life, from life quotes to theoretical methods; the web feeds us with plenty of life advice. However, most of these keys aren't proven effective. The problem with such is that this is shortsighted advice. Fortunately, this post doesn't share hypothetical solutions but proven keys to success. All of which are drawn out from author Nelson Fowlkes' experiences—starting from a splintered childhood to a meaningful retirement on Nelson Fowlkes' book, Overcoming Adversity. Success has no one definition, but there are four similar keys that everyone must seize to achieve success in life; thus, continue reading this post to recognize these keys to unlocking your future. Learn to be Conscious When you're going with the flow, you're allowing yourself to experiences things as they are, feeling and sensing but never living. Going with the flow lifestyle has been rampant these days, and it may appear harmless; there's a lot more to the adage. If all you do is go with the flow, you'll get caught in the currents or go over a waterfall. From missing out on experiences to failed opportunities, this mindset can lead you to ruin. You need intention, and you need to row hard, too. It is only when you take control of your life that you achieve success. Being more conscious will lead you to take the appropriate actions to reach your goals. So start learning to be conscious until you… Find Your Direction With consciousness comes common sense. You must know how you want to get to your destination—if you don't have any idea of the path to travel. It is not only essential to have a destination in life but the right direction in order to live a happy and successful life. Moreso, finding the direction means having goals to make progress slowly and reach your destination in time. It's no excuse to keep going on the wrong path. Therefore, define it. Find out where you see yourself heading in life. When you know your destination, you can easily take the right direction. Be a Warrior If you want to win in war, you have to be a warrior. The same is true in success. Being a warrior doesn't entail picking on each and every fight; instead, it's about choosing what to fight. Life is filled with challenges; it is only through triumphing over these challenges will you achieve success. So face life head-on. Meet them halfway. It takes guts to reach the crest of a wave. Quell your fears and dive into possible opportunities, and only then will the path become more fulfilling. Everyone is capable of adopting a warrior mindset; it's just a question of commitment. Have Patience Here's the thing: patience is also a key to success. Success doesn't come overnight. It takes a long process of ups and downs until reaching the endpoint. That delay or waiting for the thing to happen is a virtue that you must develop. Being patient is too difficult a task, especially in today's fast-paced world. Everyone grossly undermines patience and aims for instant gratification. Without patience, you'll be gripped with anxiety and a constant need for validation, beating yourself to death. Remember, everything takes time. All you have to do is wait and carry on the effort that requires to achieve your goals. It is not the talent or skills you are missing to make it big in this world, but it is the lack of patience. And if you manage to make progress consistently and patiently, that success you're yearning for will finally happen.  Live life with no regrets. This is a phrase that makes people want to do everything they can. Dreaming big is not a bad thing at all. In fact, it can bring so much positivity to one's life. It is a process that motivates a person to do more and to strive harder than ever. More so, dreaming is also a chance for you to establish a strong mindset that will serve as a tool to continue persevering.
When you dream, you generate anticipation and excitement. That is why dreaming is an essential aspect of your life. Desiring for something new that can provide positive changes for you as a person is a factor that gives you something to live off of. When you do this, you will stay highly focused on one thing: to accomplish everything you dare to become—dreaming means that you are improving your quality of life. Nelson Fowlkes' book "Overcoming Adversity: Resetting Goals" is a story of unwavering faith, perseverance, and internal fortitude. Reading this book will prove that adversities do not hinder you from achieving your dreams. Overcoming Adversity on Adventurous Lifestyle by Nelson Fowlkes proves that with faith, perseverance, and courage, you can make everything possible. Here are some things you should incorporate in your daily life to keep you motivated throughout the journey: Don't Let Pressure Get to You People are better off with an environment filled with positivity and optimism compared to an environment filled with pressure. Imagine working on something at the office while your boss is looking. You would definitely feel uncomfortable. This will lead you not to produce good outcomes. If you feel like you are trapped in something that restrains you because of pressure, get out of this highly disruptive environment as quickly as possible. Find somewhere where you can feel free. Define Your Short-Term and Long-Term Goals Defining your goals will help you in so many ways. Setting your goals can help the inner you to come out, triggering new behaviors and attitudes— even the ones you've never imagined that you possessed. It also helps you view your milestones to make you more inspired to reach the end goal. Your short-term goals will serve as your milestones. It will open your eyes and make you see how far you've actually come. That is why you need to keep track of your progress by writing them down. Defining both short-term and long-term goals will bring you to the top of your abilities. Try to See the Bigger Picture Allowing yourself to see the bigger picture will help in seeing opportunities for improvement. This is one of the keys to get ahead of your game. Fortunately, there are ways to develop big picture thinking; one is by seeing things from a different lens. The same information can have different meanings when seen from another perspective. A thing that contributes to this fact is that people are raised differently and exposed to different privileges. You need to try and shift your state of mind to understand the other person's mindset. Thus, never be ashamed to ask people. Learning from others gives you wisdom and knowledge. Focus On One Thing People might be good at multitasking. However, this does not guarantee efficiency and performance. Multitasking will only divide your attention. Your brain can only focus on one thing at a time, so do things one at a time. The adverse effects of multitasking can also affect your mental health. When you don't feel like you are not doing things in your highest condition, start focusing on one thing at a time. Get Enough Rest When it comes to improving your overall health, you need to get enough relaxation time. Maybe you are pushing yourself too much at a level where you get preoccupied. This will lead to serious mental health conditions, such as depression. When you have enough time to rest, don't deny it. Sleep as much as you can so you can come back in full condition. Keep the Positive Attitude When you are optimistic, you will handle stressful and unwanted situations better. You will know some creative ways to provide solutions to it. When you have a positive outlook, you can also have better relationships with the people around you. Practicing a positive mindset is scientifically proven to boost happiness and inspire you to reach your goals.  Having an Optimistic Outlook in Life: Everyday Habits
Every day, everybody strives to reach a certain point in life. Because of it, people tend to get worried about the when of things. In reality, we don't even know how we are going to get there. Sometimes, we don't even know what it means to be successful. That is why, as we journey through life, it is essential to have an optimistic outlook. Finding positivity can help us cope in so many ways. Positivity can be the backbone to everything we do; it can be the backbone to our happiness and even to our success. Being a positive think can better your mental health and even also physical health. Many studies done in the past have proven to lower the risks of several significant causes of death, such as heart disease and stroke. Undeniably, it has also been proven to give a person a better quality of life. Don't we all want that for ourselves? The better the quality of life, the lower the chance of a person getting depressed as it will nourish psychological and physical health, as mentioned. As much as we want it to be, positive thinking will not make our problems disappear, but it sure makes them more manageable. Nelson Fowlkes authored a compelling and inspiring book that can motivate us to cope with the adversities and challenges of life. Reading this book can give you a better worldview, a more positive one. If you need a little push to take action to incorporate positivity in your daily life, this is ideal for you. To have an optimistic outlook in life, one has to be ready to take all the measures. A few strategies and techniques have been developed and proven effective. In this blog, you will learn about them. These tips can be incorporated into your daily habits. In no time, as you are consistent, you will surely see the positive effects it does on you. To get you started n your journey, here are the ways on how you can have an optimistic outlook in life: Identify What Matters to You Who and what you are surrounded matters to having a happier life. If you feel like you need to sort out your life, identify what matters to you first. Whose opinion matters? What do you need to get rid of? Answering questions like these will help you understand your feelings better. At the end of the day, the only things that you should focus on are the people and things that you need in your life. There are certain factors in your life right now that you think are essential to telling you the truth. Think about them, and you will reflect on so many things. Be Grateful of the Little Things Always acknowledge the little things in your life—even the tiniest ones, especially those suitable for you. When you feel gratitude for what you have, you will no longer look for more. This way, you appreciate your life better, preparing yourself for something bigger. It may be hard at first not to want more because we are all dreamers. But instead, see your dreams as a motivation for you to grow. The best way to be grateful for the little things is not to compare yourself to others. When you compare yourself to others, you will feel insecure about yourself. You need to know that everyone has different lives. We have different challenges to face. If one conquers theirs, we should be happy for them and use them to inspire you to continue yours. Journal Your Progress Journaling has been known to have a lot of positive effects on mental and emotional health. This is because it helps in tracking your progress in terms of your thoughts and feelings. Whenever you are consistent on tracking your progress, you can look back on it and see how much you have improved or changed. It would be best if you had something that you can look back on because it can fuel so much inspiration for you to make more improvements in your life. Even mindless journaling can help ease your mind. It takes a minute or two of your day and can give so much in return.  Factors that Adversely Affect Motivation
Every day, one has to face all the adversities that life throws. Not to mention, these miseries will create a significant impact on one's life. To measure up with these, motivation should always be present to keep them up on their feet. Motivation is one thing that will make them want to live life despite all the afflictions that comes with it. It is an aspect in life that reflects something different among everyone, making them gain valued outcomes—improves performance and even personal growth. Therefore, motivation should always be set as the default for people to live life accordingly. No one should ever be deprived of it. People, in their nature, are meant to strive, dream, and reach something that they desire and see as something valuable. All these will be achieved with action. Initiating action is means one is starting something; motivation is the perfect element for it. Learning to increase your motivation is worth everyone's time. Sometimes, it may not seem like it. For instance, people might be busy doing something they think is productive. However, they find that something is stopping them. The lack of motivation can be the first factor for this to happen. You can never finish up doing great things if you don't have enough of it. Many valuable insights into human nature come from having the correct understanding of what motivation means. Nelson Fowlkes authored a great book called, Overcoming Adversity: Resetting Goals. This remarkable book gives readers insightful tactics to increase motivation. The author's unwavering faith and perseverance, highlighted in the book, will compellingly inspire readers to do the same. In this blog, one can learn more about motivation and the factors that affect it. Listed below are some situations that negatively affects motivation: Bad Source of Outlet Everyone should always have an outlet to run into. If a person hasn't found one yet, it is best to look for it. Make sure that it makes you comfortable and that you are always happy about it. If it isn't making one feel better, maybe it is not the right one. It would help if you found something that has an impact on you. One of the most influential outlets to run to is journaling. Writing down one's feelings is very important for two main reasons. One, it helps track progress. Two, it makes you self-reflect. Journaling is very personal. At least, you can make it a person. One can make it their own and express their thoughts and feelings. One will notice if the outlet is terrible if nothing feels better. If this happens, it would be a great idea to move on and find another. Lack of Recognition Sometimes, the lack of motivation comes from oneself. Now and then, it would be best to self-reward. All the hard work must be compensated. Recognition shifts everything to be better. Nothing beats the feeling of being adequately rewarded for all the hard work. If anything, one is pushed to do the best if they are recognized. Who does not want that? It lifts the spirits. Even a little "thank you" gives a great feeling. Absence of Opportunities If a person is not exposed to the opportunities they deserve, no motivation can come. Nevertheless, this does not mean that one has nothing left to do about it. On the contrary, there are right things to do if this happens. For example, if one thinks that he has no job opportunities in his way, he should remain hopeful. Hope will help you cope with everything. Without it, you can never live life to the fullest. Keep the hope, and you will feel true happiness. No Access to Complete Resources The thing is everyone is not exposed to the same resources. Some might have more, and some might have less. Without the right tools, you seem to cannot work. Sure, this can impact your motivation. But there are myriad ways to make it work. The secret is to be grateful for it. This will allow you to have every power you have. At the end of the day, you are going to see a very significant outcome. Overall, motivation can be affected by a lot of factors. All you must do is to stay still and gather up all your power. Ultimately, you will find more incredible things. |
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